Here's a quick run-down on Discovery Travel & Living's 'star' tv cooks/chefs, their shows and some of the dirt that I managed to dig up on them...
1) KEITH FLOYD (British) (Floyd on Fish, Floyd on Fish, Floyd on Food, Floyd on France, Floyd on Britain and Ireland, Floyd's American Pie, Floyd on Oz, Floyd on Spain, Far Flung Floyd, Floyd on Italy, Floyd on Africa, Best Of Floyd, Floyd Uncorked, Floyd on GMTV, Floyd's Fjord Fiesta, Floyd Around the Med, Capital Floyd, Floyd's India) The old man of tv cooking. He has been around for 2 decades or so. Prolific drinker, quick-witted and possesses a strong penchant for throwing and tossing things whilst cooking. Funny bugger, especially when he is not sober. Floyd was banned from driving for 32 months in November 2004 after crashing his car into another vehicle while three-and-a -half times over the legal alcohol limit. He was also fined £1500. Another 8 months to go.
2) NIGELLA LAWSON (British) (Nigella Bites, Forever Summer with Nigella) Of Jewish descent, Lawson is currently married to Charles Saatchi (17 years her senior) whom she re-married in 2003 after her first husband John Diamond died of throat cancer in 2001. She started her affair with Saatchi before the death of Diamond, albeit with his consent. I do not like her. Her techniques are amateur and her show borders on food porn. She will cry and die in a real restaurant kitchen. That double-handed curved blade she uses to chop her vegetables is, to me, a cheap ploy to wiggle-jig her chest in front of the camera and her constant finger licking I feel is best left in the confines and privacy of her bedroom with Mr Saacthi. She should stick to writing and leave her suggestive descriptions about oozing, dripping, rubbing etc. on a food column instead of bringing it into the tv kitchen. But I must admit the interior design of her house and kitchen really rocks.
3) JAMIE OLIVER (British) (The Naked Chef, Return of the Naked Chef, Happy Days with the Naked Chef, Jamie's Kitchen, Return to Jamie's Kitchen, Oliver's Twist, Jamie's Great Italian Escape, Jamie's School Dinners) A dyslexic with only primary school qualifications, this fella needs no introduction. He is everywhere. The David Beckham of quick-fix cooking. He seems like an honest bloke who befriends anyone who wants to befriend him. Brilliantly marketed with a sparkling down-to-earth personality to match, he is first and foremost a good teacher in my opinion. People get what he is trying to say. People trust him. But then again his detractors might argue it is because he cooks simple grub which makes it easy to 'educate' the masses. You decide. Oliver was ranked, in 2003, at number 28 in UK Channel 4's poll of "100 Worst Britons". You either love or hate this guy. He is probably never ever going to get a michelin-star for his pit-stop style and often less than hygienic way of food preparation (he never washes his ingredients, utensils, cutlery or hands if you have noticed) but I like his recipes because it serves as a good base to create your own improved version of his.
4) KYLIE KWONG (Australia) (Kylie Kwong: Heart and Soul, Kylie Kwong: Simply Magic) Her favourite word is 'CARAMELISED'. Watch her shows and she mentions it again and again. I wonder if she realises it. I like the kitchen in her show. Nicely done up with lots of gadgets around. She has stuck close to her roots and made her name in Chinese cooking; in Australia that is. How authentic is her Chinese cooking? Well it is a healthy mix of predominantly old style Cantonese fare infused with a distinct western influence - She is 5th generation Australasian after all. Her restaurant in Perth is considered an institution of (Australian) Chinese cuisine so I guess the food must be pretty good. In January 2005, Kwong was fined $AU750 and had her drivers' licence revoked for 3 months after pleading guilty to low-range drink-driving. A fan of Floyd's?
5) BEN O’DONOGHUE & CURTIS STONE (Australia) (Surfing the Menu) For 4 years, O’Donoghue worked at The River Café in London before joining his best mate Jamie Oliver at the exclusive Monte’s Club as head chef. He has worked with Oliver as a consultant food stylist as well as assisting him with various outside catering functions, including cooking for Tony Blair and the Italian Prime Minister. Melbourne-born Stone was studying his Bachelor of Business before deciding his heart was actually in food. Not prodigously talented or charismatic individually, these two dudes make up for it as a pair. They will hold your attention for the half hour when they are on. They are living proof that you do not need 2 gay men in front of the camera in order to have good mano-de-mano chemisty on tv. Thank God.
6) MICHAEL SMITH (Australia) (Beach Cafe) Smith is a young surfer and an exceptionally talented chef. He is only in his mid-20s but he runs his kitchen like an old hand that has been at it for decades and he speaks about his food with an uncanny maturity. Although not as effervescent and charming as Oliver, Smith's geekiness works in his favour. He personifies the phrase 'Looks can be deceiving'. This series is based on his diary, set over a Cornish summer running The Porthminster Café in the UK. Experts place him as the next big thing.
7) BOB BLUMER (Canada) (The Surreal Gourmet) Blumer was born and raised in Montreal, Quebec. He travels around America in his van-truck with his portable 'Bread Toaster' kitchen in tow. He actually cooks in that tin can, which I think is a safety hazard. A gas leak will blow it up and an electrical trip will set it on fire and fry him to a crisp. I hope he has insurance. Although Blumer has a surreal kitchen, his recipes are unfortunately not surreal. He does play on the presentation of foods to inject more 'fun' into the dish but with a show name like The Surreal Gourmet, I would expect wierd, experimental and unheard of recipes that will stir viewer curiousity and fire their imagination, perhaps even causing the occasional upset stomach for those who dare try them out in the name of food exploration. Instead, it is more like a 30min cooking circus on wheels whenever he rolls into town. He should take a sabbatical in Asia, gastronomically surreal Asia. I highly recommend it.
8) DAVID ROCCO (Canada) (Don't Forget Your Passport, Avventura: Journeys in Italian Cuisine, David Rocco’s La Dolce Vita) Rocco is not a chef but lucky for him he is Italian, quite good looking and speaks the language. He has focused his show, brand and tv marketing solely on Italy, Italian cuisine and being Italian. Formerly a model and actor, he and his wife Nina produce the shows and they travel around Italy enjoying 'the sweet life' a.k.a la dolce vita. He first started out featuring how different popular Italian dishes were prepared in their native regions in Italy. Then he tried his hand at cooking. He looked amusingly clumsy preparing and cooking his food. It was apparent that his aptitude for the culinary arts lay in the left half of the cooking bell curve. To his credit, his technique has improved and in his latest series, he looks more competent at the chopping board and in front of the stove. Rustic and at times romantic, his La Dolce Vita series reeks of the enjoy-life-with-buddies-I-cook-for-them concept that Oliver has used in his shows. Expressively, Rocco still has got some way to go with his hand-waving rantling that the Italians are so famous for and there are times when he tries too hard to be Italian. Poser as some may say.
9) GUY RUBINO & MICHAEL RUBINO (Canada) (Made to Order) Older brother Guy runs the kitchen and younger brother Michael runs the bar at RAIN, their restaurant in Toronto. They own another restaurant, LUCE, also in Toronto. Their restaurants are apparently amongst the best in that part of Canada. Everything is about style and presentation where these 2 Italian-Canadians are concerned. Guy is a master presenter of food. His creations (and matching cutlery) look emaculate and it is worth a minute's stare before you dig in. I suspect he aced his art & craft classes as a kid. Their show is about making food/dishes/menus to order, hence the name. Customers either come in with personal requests eg. impressing dates, wedding proposals, anniversaries etc. or dinner party bookings that require customised menus and dining experiences. Guy would then crack his head to serve up the right stuff while Michael will scour to find the appropriate booze to match. The show's videography is undeniably sexy but you never actually get to see how a dish is prepared from start to end. Guy will briefly go through the ingredients and method but no exact details are given. Protecting their trade secrets? Beats me. Guy seems more interested in showing how he is going to dress up the dish; he gets a high from that I think. Conducting a cooking class, I suspect, does not feature high on his agenda for the show. It is kind of like the Project Runway of cooking shows come to think of it.
10) ANTHONY BOURDAIN (America) (A Cook’s Tour, No Reservations) Last, but definitely not, by no small measure, the least. Mousier Bourdain is noted for being a bit racy and hardcore. He is a French prick bred in the Big Apple and the quintessential 'In Your F---ing Face, Screw You!' New-Yorker. Bourdain is an unrepentant smoker-drinker and a former user of cocaine, heroin, marijuana and LSD. He makes no qualms about it. He never cooks on his shows. He despises those who do; and made it clearly so in his book Kitchen Confidential. He went on to mock Oliver and Lawson in his book A Cook's Tour. He would definitely spit-shit the others I have mentioned before him, even if it is just for the fun of it. The Rubinos and Smith may be spared by virtue of the apparent authenticity of their craft, but that is just my BIG assumption. Bourdain's acid tongue regularly needs caustic exercise and there is real potential that should their paths and/or views ever cross, Floyd may well give him a head-butt le'zidane on network tv. I would pay, yes pay, to watch Bourdain in episodes where he has to travel and cook with each of the celebrities who are on this list. "New To View: Bourdain & 'Friends' " Will Lawson chop off his 'Michael Ballacks'? Will Oliver run him down with his Vespa? Compelling tv it can be, very compelling. In a nod to Bourdain's two-pack-a-day cigarette habit, renowned chef Thomas Keller once served him a 20-course tasting menu including a mid-meal 'coffee and cigarettes' dish of foie gras with tobacco-infused custard. His liberal use of light profanity and sexual references in No Reservations has netted the show a viewer discretion advisory shown in the beginning and every time it returns from commercial breaks.
What will the world be like without America? Imagine if America were to be attacked from the inside, through a hostile takeover of their land-based nuclear arsenal by some inspired terrorist consortium hell bent on creating a new world order - at any cost. At the push of a few buttons, every state in America is pulverized into nothingness. No more America. Uncle Sam is dead. Which countries will rise and which countries will fall? Which countries will whore themselves to the 'New World'? What will happen to America's friends? What will happen to America's enemies? If Uncle Sam dies, what will the world be like without America? 
